Journal Entry - 01/11/07 (Food Pantry, Adventures in Denver)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today, the group split into two teams and headed off to two different food pantries - one group to MetroCare Ring and the other to Community Ministries (which I did). Food pantries are different than food banks, because they distribute food directly to "clients" rather than to third-party agencies who perform the distribution themselves. At Community Ministries, we sorted food and moved it into long-term storage or the little "store" they ran as their emergency food bank. We also processed clothing donations into a similar store and storage system.

This was definitely the farthest out of my comfort zone yet.....sorting girls clothes, while interesting and about the same as sorting boys clothes....was quite challenging, especially when there were 3-piece outfits or wraps to sort into age and summer/winter groups. If something looked too challenging for my inexperienced male eye, I put a confused look on my face, and requested assistance or handed the garment in question to a female classmate, although I did begin to get the hang of it a little as I saw more clothing.

The greatest part of this day, as with the food kitchen, was the people with whom we were working with. We had a sweet lady who served stew for lunch (and made us all feel guilty for bring sack lunches, although Jamie did eat some of the stew). They also offered us places to sleep/stay if the predicted storm came Thursday night and we got snowed in. It was also quite apparent that our help was needed here, as (at least at first - conflicting reports) some volunteers were calling in sick, and I did hear one volunteer say that if we had not been there, the food drive from elementary schools wouldn't have been completed as quickly as it was.

After we all joined back at First Mennonite Church for some break/relaxation time, we went out to eat at this Thai food restaurant, recommended by our DOOR coordinator, Shaun, and then to the Denver Art Museum. In a prime example of the imperfect nature of volunteer efforts (even in non-work time), the museum was closed. However, we did enjoy a chilly but pleasant traipse through the public arena area just across from the capitol, and ended up having hot chocolate and coffee at Maui Wowi - a Hawaiian Coffee and Smoothie store located on the 16th Street Pedestrian mall, as well as great conversations.

Overall, this has been a wonderful trip - all the great examples of people working together, including our group, made me feel quite aware of the social glue that was developed during the week....and the social capital. If enough people can continue our efforts, and if we can bring even a small portion of what we have learned home...the social capital and effects will ripple out farther than we imagined.

Journal Entry - 01/10/07 (Headstart, Explore Denver, Movie)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today we visited a nearby school that housed a Headstart program for low-income and working poor families, and explored the 16th street Pedestrian Mall in downtown Denver.

The goal of the Headstart program is to inspire and educate children to enable them to transcend their current situation and succeed in a career, education, etc. by instilling a set of 40 values identified by the Search Institute and providing them with an environment and activities that stimulate healthy social interaction.

We walked from First Mennonite Church to Headstart and attended a brief orientation before entering the classroom. We immediately jumped into a rousing rendition of "The Freeze Song', in which we periodically were required to freeze in our current positions. Then we did the "Ri-Chi-Cha" song, and split into pairs to read Five Little Monkeys Jumping on a Bed, after which we let the children reign until "Arts and Crafts" - making penguins from toilet paper rolls and construction paper - and then more free time until lunch. After lunch we went back to the classroom and said our goodbyes.

I learned during that period just how much all the skills we identified in class are mandatory when working with children (of any age). Especially with my child, who was shy and slow to warm up at first, patience and flexibility were key. It was even suggested as part of the program to make a few mistakes and let the child correct you. It is also immediately apparent with these kids how effect your being there is, at least for the short period that you are in their lives. The kids talk animatedly, laugh, smile, and are so excited.....and that makes it even sadder when you leave them - especially for me because my child buddy kind of "shutdown" - no more smiles and laughter, as he realized I was leaving. On the other hand, it was nice to know that our interaction meant so much to them.

The best part about exploring Denver, even beyond the stores at the Pedestrian Mall, was the light rail system. Cars ran almost continuously on a line that starts downtown and ends all the way near Littleton quite a few miles away. Running at 45 mph in some places, it was only 5-10 minutes to downtown and then another few minutes to ride part of the way down the free MallRide bus. The whole thing made me feel like I was in the Space Age.

The movie we watched - called Crash - portrayed racial and class tensions in Los Angeles using car crashes and car-jackings as context. The two most powerful events for me were a quote recited at the beginning, and a miracle near the end of the movie. The quote basically says, "People in L.A. don't touch each other anymore - they don't have connections to each other anymore. And yet, they need and reach out for that connection, and sometimes they crash into each other just for the sense of touch". This reminded me of all the social capital/relationships/social glue we talked about in class - that Putnam reference. The scene that spoke to me was quite heartbreaking...and yet miraculous. The Persian owner of a store that gets vandalized because he didn't fix the door is infuriated because he had paid a locksmith already to fix the lock on the door, but didn't fix the door itself because it wasn't his job to do so - suggesting the owner call somebody to fix the door instead. After the insurance adjuster denies his claim because of "negligence" - not fixing the door - the owner flies into a rage, locates the name of the locksmith on the receipt, grabs his newly purchased gun, and prepares to find and get his money back or kill him. After finding his house, he waits until the locksmith returns home, then confronts him, demanding his money back at gunpoint. The locksmith's daughter, recently having been given a "invisible cloak" by her father to protect her from the monsters and gunshots in the window, calls to her mother to come...and then runs out the door into her fathers arms to protect him from death. The gun fires....and the locksmith and his wife, believing their daughter has been shot dead, cry and scream in grief.....while the Persian just stands in shock, staring first at his gun, then the daughter and father, then back at his gun, not believing he could have done such a thing. After the movie accurately portraying the parent's grief, the daughter surprises everybody by saying, "it's ok daddy - I protected you - I have the cloak"....and she's not hurt, not even a scratch. The parents, after a few moments of disbelief, joyously celebrate and take their daughter back inside, locking the door and demanding the Persian go away. While it turns out that the Persian's daughter bought him a box of "blanks" when she bought the gun for him, he doesn't know that, and thinks that the little girl is an angel sent to him, and changes his ways completely. What is so powerful about this scene....despite the actual circumstances....is the idea of redemption, a second chance, and the idea that words and community go a lot farther than a bullet in resolving conflicts and racism, other social issues.

Journal Entry - 01/09/07 (Food Bank of the Rockies, Speaker)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today, we visited the Food Bank Of The Rockies - a large food warehouse and distribution center in Denver. We also had a guest speaker named Steve who spoke with us about the Denver prison system.

The two principles of service-learning that came out of these two events for me were:

1. The amazing things that can occur during community service - we moved over 15,000 pounds of food in about 6 hours.
2. The frustrations, disappointment, and anger that can occur:
1. When you see what problems are glaringly obvious and/or need to be solved.
2. When you see how little is being done to resolve an issue, or the incompetence of the officials or agencies assigned to the task of doing so - although part of this frustration can come from application of the "perfect standard" to an issue.

Working with our group at the food bank (and some other volunteers after lunch from Florida and Louisiana) was amazing for me. Although working with people yesterday at the kitchen was great, it was nice to do some assembly line work, just doing a single task repeatedly, joking with helpers around you, and competing lightly to see who could work the fastest, with a common mission regardless of who or what you are.

As mentioned before, it was very tough and yet exciting to talk with Steve about prison systems. On the one hand, it was shocking and mind-blowing to hear about some of the injustices and atrocities being committed:

• A member of a family notorious for committing crimes (and getting caught every time) served 18 years in solitary confinement for a $400 theft crime.
  
• When a person enters the Denver prison system, all forms of identification are shredded - driver's license, passport, etc., making it impossible to get a job upon release.

On the other hand, it was also encouraging to hear someone speak about issues and frustrations that I share, and to be hopeful change can happen, no matter how imperfect it may be.

I hope as the week goes on, we get to know each other's strengths and weaknesses and form a tight group to work together back home on some of these issues. I also hope that upon our return, we will at least continue to keep in contact with each other and work together in small or large ways to make the world a better place.

Journal Entry - 01/08/07 (Grant Ave Spaghetti Kitchen and DENUM)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today we made two visits - one to a homeless shelter and service provider called DENUM (Denver Urban Ministries), the other to a spaghetti kitchen at 16th Street and Grant Ave.

DENUM
The most meaningful part of the first visit was a board game similar to Parker Bro's "Game of Life". We each were assigned to pairs representing a profile of a real family or individual from the center's database of homeless or working poor - with names/identities changed to maintain confidentiality.

Our goal was to survive a month of living in Denver without having to live on the streets. Our income and expenses were determined by:

• The parameters of our assets and expenses, such as paycheck, rent, etc. as defined on our profile.
• Regular expenses that appeared on each day of the month - such as rent, weekly groceries, laundry, etc
• Chance/surprise/gifts/or expenses drawn from Hope, Life, and School cards that randomly were drawn on a given day. It was possible to receive "assistance" with the expenses, regular and surprise, from DENUM and other agencies, but (just like in real life), sometimes the grants or aid was depleted or just gone and so was not available to us.

What shocked me the most about this experience was the cruel/cold "mental or moral calculus" that is inevitably applied - How much of the grocery bill to pay this week? Guess we can't buy the kids Christmas presents this year - their lice bill wiped out that part of the budget. I also saw social capital principles being applied here - neighbors would loan money to each other, or watch each other's kids to help pay the bills by reducing the needs for daycare services.

What hit me the hardest was:

1. The immoral/unethical reality of people living this way - both in Denver & Missoula, and and elsewhere.
2. How easy it was to enter this state of being - one missed rent payment, a broken refrigerator, loss of energy assistance, the loss of a spouse, are just a few examples.
3. How likely it would be for me to become this way if I moved out into Missoula, and and didn't have a family or other support network to fall back on.

Spaghetti Kitchen
The other visit was to a spaghetti kitchen where we assisted in serving lunch and dinner for approximately 450 people in four hours.

I was struck by many things during this visit:

1. The hard work required for volunteer work - I probably opened 100 cans of peas, corn, beef hash, green beans, tomato paste, etc. in various sizes and shapes (some were crunched and deformed) as my task, although in retrospect, it was a lot easier than some of my other classmates' jobs - dish washing, busing dishes, or serving.
2. The incredible flexibility, energy, and diversity of the volunteer and paid staff in the kitchen. I talked with a telecommunications marketing vice president, chemical engineer with a Ph.D, children's book writer, food service salesman, just to name a few, and watched as the volunteers (including myself) poured in and out of the kitchen, constantly shifting gears to help where they were needed.
3. The sense of dignity, respect, and community that I perceived from the people coming to eat.

Even from my spot in the kitchen, I heard tons of compliments, "please" and "thank you", "God bless", and "Mam" spoken to the servers. Later, when I went to eat, I sat at one of the tables, across from a disabled couple, although I didn't realize that they were disabled for a while. As I watched the care, respect, and trust they had for each other, even though their handicaps were significant, I got a very warm, romantic, but sad feeling in my heart for their struggle, but smiled at how they dealt with their situation.

Finally, when I was cleaning up, I overheard several conversations between diners, where information, tips, advice, and encouragement were exchanged. Even though they were often low on resources, and sometimes struggling to survive, they more truly embodied the principles of citizenship at times than I did. Moreover, given their circumstances, they probably would have been forgiven if they looked out for their own interests first...and they still helped each other!

today, more than any other day thus far in my life, I have been shocked, humbled, scared, and shamed at some of my previous thoughts, attitudes, and perceptions. The volunteer experiences was just incredible, and so much more fulfilling than anything else that I've done. It made me proud to be a citizen.

Journal Entry - 01/07/07 (Travel Day #2)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today was intense! I haven't been through Wyoming or Colorado for at least 2-3 years and I had forgotten some key characteristics:

• They are very flat - (geographically speaking) !
• They are perpetually windy - we saw 6 semi-trucks turned over in Wyoming due to the wind (Update: We were experiencing unusual 100-mph winds)
• Denver is HUGE!

I have rarely experienced more than 2 lanes of traffic at a time (in one direction) - there were 4-6 lanes, some for HOV (high-occupancy vehicles - carpools, etc.). The skyscrapers were awesome! A big bummer was that Kelsey got step throat during the last four days - so she had to wear a mask from Cheyenne, Wyoming to Denver.

Same principle of flexibility, companionship, and social capital as yesterday!

Journal Entry - 01/06/07 (Travel Day #1)
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Wow! What a first day of travel we had! Winter travel advisories, blowing snow, and wind (creating whiteout conditions at times), and tight nerves from the recent van training made for a potential emotional breakdown at times.

In the face of all that, we were an amazing group - nothing seemed to phase us for long - eventually somebody would make a funny comment on the weather, or tell a funny story, and we would break the tension with bouts of enormous laughter. We also had a great collection of music on the group's iPods that kept the conversation (and singing) flowing, and the mood "chill". The jacuzzi at the Comfort Inn was a great way to end the day - soaking our sore bones and telling stories from the day and getting to know each other better.

It really taught me (or affirmed) the principles of service-learning from Soul of a Citizen

• Nothing has to be perfect - somethings are out of our control
• Taking the first few steps is tough - but after that everything just seems to fall into place.
  

Journal Entry - 01/05/07
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today we went over logistics of the trip, watched a clip from The Girl In The Cafe, and discussed the readings from Soul of a Citizen. Some of the principles, values, and emotions stirred up by our discussion struck home with me and caused some strong (but respectful) feelings amongst myself and my classmates.

The readings (plus nick) brought out some themes that really struck home for me:

• The “perfect standard” thinking that activists like Martin Luther King, Jr. or Rosa Parks are “flawless” or transcended beyond human emotions/needs/failures.

• Being vulnerable/living with ambiguity

• Jumping in to a project/taking a stand without all the information

• Information overload/complexity and implications of technology

I am a shy (at least outside the classroom), perfectionist, computer-savvy, guy who likes to work behind the scenes and help other people use technology to solve problems. Volunteering in non-computer-related fields has always been a little difficult for me because it means having to step into an area that I don't have a strong practical knowledge base of techniques or tools for dealing with the situation or the social protocols/skills to interact well – at least in my opinion. I also am extremely sensitive to the effects (both positive and negative) of technology in our world, especially its role in globalization (and its attendant positive/negative effects), and the ethical issues connected with computers and related equipment/software (thanks to CRT122E – Computer Ethics in Spring '06).

Thus I was able to really identify with some of the discussions (and classmate feedback) on the “numbing” effect of technology (and media) that can make it conveniently easy to “disconnect” from reality – as asserted in Chapter two of our readings. However, I also felt a need to defend my day job, and share with everybody else how doubly tough it can be at times to have a professional level of knowledge/responsibility regarding computer technology, and be discussing or reading about its implications in books such as A Flat World by Milton Friedman or my geography courses...and be criticized by older people (like my mother sometimes) for being too wired and too disconnected when that is rarely the case.

Of course, some of the problem is due to my perfectionist tendency to apply the “perfect standard” to myself and others around me....and to try and please everybody influenced by a project or piece of technology. Hopefully reflecting more on the literature and what happens in this trip to Denver will allow me to step back and re-orient myself to a more sane mentality.

The book has some great advice...will have to check it out from the library when I get back.

This will be a trip when I open myself up really wide....and vulnerable. I'm a little nervous about working with homeless people....even though I have had great conversations with a few before....they are always going to be rougher than the average college student. I also hope to make great friends with my classmates and have fun working with the kids on Wednesday. Stay tuned to this journal for more details....

Journal Entry - 1/02/2007
HC395 Service Learning Trip

Today we visited the Poverello Center in Missoula, MT, and received a tour of the facilities. Along the way we learned about their programs, their values/mission, and heard stories about some of the residents, both successful and not.

The most important thing I learned there today, is how much volunteer effort is required to run their services/program, and also how much cooperation with other agencies - business/state/private/etc. is involved - like the story of the guy from Ireland who needed a new passport and green card!!

This connects with the previous journal entry , specifically the note about "community service/volunteerism/service learning is the glue that binds society together" - most especially because the city cannot provide all the necessary services, and even the Pov has a hard time serving 300 meals a day without the help of volunteers.

It connected with me today because of the readings from "soul of a citizen" that we were required to read for class -which I read today. The key points I picked up from the readings were the author's acknowledgment of how difficult it can be to volunteer, especially when the circumstances are unusual/out of your comfort zone....and the societal norms/standards that can affect it. Despite these difficulties, he makes a marvelous case for volunteer citizen action even just in the two chapters we read.

I admit to feeling slightly nervous about the prospect of serving lunch 1) because I'm not always know for my efficiency with assembly-line tasks, and 2) I still struggle with being comfortable around homeless people, especially those with mental health issues. Despite this...I was a little disappointed to find out that they only needed about 2-3 people...making us too large of a group. However, it sounds like we'll be able to serve in small groups when we come back from Denver....it might even be a better experience for it. If I had been brave enough...I might have asked, "I'd like to serve lunch today if two other people will join me..." but I also felt a little nervous about doing it - I haven't got a feel for the group's dynamics yet...and the rest of my day was looking busy (I know, bad excuse) and I could use the extra time to catch up on a few things.

On the other hand...like was mentioned in the readings, and what Nick and Andrea have both said......there has never been a volunteer experience that I ultimately have disliked or regretted participating in...regardless of how stressful it was. My larger ambivalence has to do with the initial decision to participate...as noted both in our readings, and a book I'm reading called "twilight" - a vampire thriller in which one of the main characters has to deal with the consequences of falling in love with a vampire...a metaphysical/fantasy love story. She quotes herself at one point saying, "The hardest part for me is making the decision to do something....and once I've made it...there a certain amount of relief in not having to renege on that decision - to just follow through with it." - this is also echoed in Descartes' Discourse on method - his fourth rule is to "be resolute" in following decisions, no matter where they take you.

So....at this point...I'm very excited about the volunteer opportunities, both at the Poverello and the Denver trip....but I'm still struggling with "initial" decisions to join/participate, partly because of the group I'm with...am still struggling to "get a feel" for how we all interact and our individual personalities.....but I'm glad that (at least w/ the denver trip) the decision has been made for me....and I don't have to worry about quibbling over that. I also am more convinced than ever that service-learning/community service/volunteering is imperative to a democratic society.

Journal Entry - 1/02/2007
HC395 Service Learning Trip

We talked today about what service-learning means, especially in the context of academic "rigor" and how it differs from internships or other such things. One interesting connection I found pertained to Putnam's (or the French Guy's) assertion that "social capital is the glue that binds society together".

In the "urban patterns" chapter of my Human Geography (An Introduction to Human Geography: The Cultural Landscape, Eight Edition) book by James M. Rubenstein, last semester, we talked about the "vicious cycle" of social decline in urban neighborhoods....
The main points about this issue are on page 458:

• The geographic concentration of low-income residents in inner-city neighborhoods is causing financial problems for cities.
• This is because they cannot afford to pay the taxes to support the public services upon which they rely, causing a gap between a city's supported tax base and the return of tax revenues from that base.
• In order to close the gap, there are two choice (according to the book):
• 1) Reduces services (i.e. close libraries, eliminate certain public-transit routes, cut trash collection frequency).
  Besides laying off some workers (resulting in hardship), it also encourages middle-class residents and industry to move out.
• 2) Raise tax revenues (which can force out industry and wealthier residents who don't want to pay), or 'expand their tax base' by constructing new building projects in the CBD (central business district) and demolishing old ones. Tax Revenue is still much higher than old buildings, even with subsidies and tax breaks. Businesses like hotels, restaurants, etc. provide minimum-wage jobs (personal service). Despite the benefits, it can also take away funding from inner-city projects like subsidized playgrounds. Biggest problem is that federal government's subsidies have declined, making the fiscal problems more apparent."

It seems that according to my Human Geography Book, when the city's ability to fund its public services through taxes fails to keep up with the cost of doing so, there are no good options - either cut the services (and associated jobs), or raise taxes by improvement projects that can raise the cost of buying/renting a home and divert money from other projects.

So what are we to do? I suspect that there is a third option that nobody has thought of yet - adding in service learning or civic engagement, as we talked about today. Since raising taxes increases discontent and/or reduces support for public projects among industry and wealthy citizens, and cities cannot handle the entire burden, service-learning citizens and internships/volunteers can fill the gap by working with organizations and city services to provide the missing/reduced services with a much needed boost.

A good example of this is Andrea Vernon's story about the United Way collaboration w/ the city services. Although perhaps, a better example is her little blurb about Ellie Hall (new Poverello director) and posting the volunteer positions at UM Career Service's Student Job Site. Students who apply for these positions (I just checked and there are 50 volunteer positions available!) can possibly receive academic credit through OCE/Andrea Vernon.....win for UM, and these organizations get free labor (win for them).....which enables them to provide more services to poor/low-income/homeless (win for them as well!!!!). A win-win-win model.

By improving incentives/opportunities for students and other citizens to participate in volunteer/service-learning/internship positions, it reduces the burden on cities to provide these public services using a finite tax base. When this happens, that "social glue" is cemented, students/citizens feel more fulfilled, the democratic process is set in motion...and (hopefully) everybody goes home happy.

Denver, CO service-learning journal

The next series of posts are the journal entries from a service-learning class I took at the University of Montana a few weeks ago. We learned about urban social issues (like poverty, homelessness, etc.) through community service in Denver, CO (second week). The first week, we also learned how community service is a vital component of citizenship, and of a college education.

The journal entries cover both weeks, and contain my thoughts and reflections of the class. Please note that since they are journal entries and not academic papers, they have been checked for basic spelling using Google Docs, but may fail a grammar test.

First Post!

Well, this should be an exciting experience. The primary purpose of this blog is to allow me to do somewhat of a daily (or semi-weekly) journal of what happens in a day...and any musing to connections in my life that such events may have.

It should also provide a convenient way to post material via Google Docs so I can share it with the world....regardless of its value to others than my ego. :)

Stay tuned for more...